Emptiness……….
It’s a strange feeling and one that I know something about. I had it come over me today, just out of the blue. There were no warnings that it was coming, just all of the sudden I felt a wave of nothing. I like to call it the void. This place of apathy. I’ve had it happen on many occasions. Sometimes I can pinpoint the reasons and other times, like today, I have absolutely no idea.
For me when this occurs, I then seem to have three emotions on a random rotation:
- Sadness
- Anger
- Apathy
Then this continues in a cycle. Sometimes this cycle only lasts a little (up to an hour), sometimes it lasts a lot longer. I then become frustrated because these three emotions just keep randomly popping up. It is at this point that I start to recognise my need to accept what is happening.
When I realise this emptiness has developed, I go back to what I know. This is the important part. By knowing how to enhance my mental health, I am able to deal with these situations when they arise. I use my knowledge and understanding of what works best for me to move through the void, the weirdness of my roller-coaster emotions.
So how do I do it?
Acknowledge the feeling.
It’s ok to feel, even if you’re not quite sure why you feel the way you do. Let it be and try not to force yourself out of it. This is really important. Let yourself feel whatever it is that is happening. Try not to feel guilty (though this can be harder than you think) and if you do, acknowledge that feeling guilty is ok as well. Remove the notion from ourselves that we are not allowed to feel.
Use what you know that helps you.
Go back to your comforts (whatever they are – food, T.V. exercise, relaxation, meditation) and move from there. Most of the time, I need to have some alone time when this occurs. I know this (as that pesky anger emotion can rear its head at any time). It is something that I have understood about myself. For some, this doesn’t work, for me, it is a saviour.
Reflect.
Once you find yourself able to, look back. Reflect on your headspace. Maybe ask yourself some questions. For me, I know that my emptiness comes about when my spiritual health is not firing. There is such a strong link between our spiritual health and our mental health. I have been trying to work on my sense of belonging and feeling of connectedness for a while now. The older I get, the more I have questioned where I truly belong. This isn’t a bad thing, I pride myself on being a lifelong learner. I just know that I currently need to continue to question and develop my spirituality. However that may look in the future. Again, I am ok with feeling this way and it is important that we trust ourselves. Have trust in knowing that it will be ok, we will be ok. I have trust in myself and complete trust in the universe.
It is these acknowledgements and reflections that move me out of that emptiness when it occurs and that is why I know that continuing to work on your mental health (and your spiritual health) is so important.